THE MUD BALL FIGHT

Hi everybody it's your old pale Red D here with a fresh Dew and today's tale. This past week we got us a little snow on the ground. My old buddy Dokkie and me was looking forward to playing in it after we got off of work. Some of you may know my buddy Dokkie from his hunting reports this past season. So there we was watching the snow melt right before our eyes, But we did not let that get us down. After we got home from work we put on some old clothes and went muddin. We crunk up the four wheelers, and rode awhile. Then after we got through with that we had us a little mud ball fight. You see after the snow melts you get what I like to call golden mud. Golden mud is the slimiest mud there is. So there we were on either side of the yard making our balls. Once we sounded the charge we then fired the fist mud. For the next twenty minuets we fought and fought till we was both covered from head to toe. So you see just because the snow was gone we still had fun. After the fight we built us a mud man. This is your pale Red saying remember to be save out here in the web. See ya soon.

WAY TO GO SAINTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Last night the New Orleans Saints won the super bowl. Proving that no matter who or what you do anybody can do anything they put there minds to. So congradulations New Orleans. Try not to party to hard this week. Just go wild have fun.

DOING SOME SHOPPING

Hey there my friends it's your old pal Red. Got through with all my decerations round the house. Now all I have to do is finish my shopping. Can't really do like I did last year, they banned me from the motel. Imean you rob one houskeeping cart and clean a mess of fish in the bathtub and they tell you not to come back. Thanks a lot mom. So now I have to come up with a new place to go and shop. You know what that means ROAD TRIP. So I will see you next time. Until then keep the dew handy and stay safe.

TIME TO RELAX TIL CHRISTMAS

Hey there Red D here. Well another ThanksGiving has come and gone. We ate and ate then ate some more. Wenow have a few weeks to go until we eat Christmas dinner, so we can relax until then. Hope everybody had a good one keep that belt loose until after Christmas just to be on the safe side. Got to go now just opened a case of dew. See y'all round the way y'all be safe out here.

MUD SLIDE

Hey y'all Ol Red here with another tale to tale. With all this rain we've been havimg lately the boys and I thought we would have a little fun. We thought wwe would make us a slippen slide out of mud. There's this hill out back of the homeplace where the water runs fast down the hill. So we made this big plane to do sopme rolling. So we all decided we weoulkd get a running start and see who would make it down the hill first. Things was going great till we started rolling down the hill filled with rocks and sticks not to mention the deep mud hole at the bottom of the hill. Half way down we forgot who was winning we was just glad to see the big mud whole. The cooling mud was soothing to our bubps and bruieses. So when we got back to the house we sat ther licking our wound and drinking ice cold mountain dews. This is Red D saying before you go rolling down a big hill send someone down to check it out first. Remember to be safe out in thus web. See you all next time.

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Evening y'all Red D here with a real sweet tale to tell you. Today was a special day. Today we had a birthday party for Nathan my friend Sony's oldest boy,and boy was it a party. Picture this there were twenty screaming kids armed with water guns. And you know that when you have that many kids and that many guns somebody is going to get wet. But you know that Ole Red ain't going down with out a fight. So I armed all the adults with our own guns. You see the kids had the big guns and we had the hand guns. So when the kids came running up to us we unloaded on them and had us a little water gun war. After the war we all sat down and wactched the birthday boy open hus presents and had some cake and ice cream. Then we watched the kids try to bust the pinata, now that was a sight. You had twenty kids one at a time wacking at a paper horse for three hours till it finally busted open with a mighty wack all you saw was kids crawling on the ground like ants at a picnic. With the party over and the yard all cleanded up everybody went there seperate homes. Birthays are good and all but I like them so much more when they are at some one elses house. This is Red saying y'all be safe out in the net and i'll see you next time.

CHILDHOOD TALES

Hey there Red D here, sipping on a ice cold moutain dew. The other day I stopped at the COME AND EAT cafe where I ran into John Dander, an old friend from highschool. We sat there talking about our younger days and what we were doing with ourselves. He told me that he was working in used cars buying and selling them. I told him that I was working my on business in lawn care. As we got to talikng about our childhood days, he brought up the time we had our bottle rocket war. You see when we was coming up we never told our parents we were bored. We always had some way to have. The bottle rocket war was avery interesting day. We made our guns for the rockets out of some pipe my dad had in the shed behind our home. When we started the war we had five packs of rockets between the both us. When we had our guns and rockets we set out to opick our spots to fight from. Once we picked our spots we were ready to begin the war. Things was going great, we each got off a few good shots at each others then things got bad. I had loaded a rocket in to my gun, I was looking good then it happened. When that rocket fired out of the gun it popped off by my friends head. All of a sudden I heard this sizzling sound around my packs of rockets. By the time I loocked all of my rockets was popping of by my head. You ought to have seen me rolling around on the ground like a dog fighting the fleas on his back. When all of the rockets were gone I raised my head up and saw my buddy John laughing his head off. After we finished our breakfast we shook hands and told each other good bye. This is Red D saying if you and your friends have a bottle rocket war keep your extra packs away from the gun you are shooting them out of. Yall be safe out in the web, and I will see yall next time.

ANOTHER FAIR COME AND GONE

Hey again this is Red,how yall doing? Hope all yall had good weekend. Round here we had our county fair. Me and my family and friends had a special family reuion and met at the fair. So I of course brought the moutain dew and steaks for the after we left the fair. Things was ging great 'till my cousin Jimmy thought he was going to be smart. He was going to eat all the fair food he could eat and then go on all the rides. So there he was buing funnel cakes, hot dogs, polish sausage ,chicken and shrimp on a stick, and 12 carmel apples. So there he was full as he could be and headed to the first ride. We all tried to tell him to wait, but he told us he was strong. So we all sat back and watched the show. When he started upchucking everybody on the ride started blowing chuncks with them. When he got on the roller coster nobody on or standing in line was safe.By the time he finished riding all those rides had to be cleaned with a fire hose. While he was getting cleaned up my little family was having the time of there life. My buddy Dokie spent $200 to get his little sister a giant teddy bear, My cousin Jk spent $100 on a little dog for his son. Good times we will have to cherish untill the next county fair. Later that night we put Jimmy to bed and then fired up the grill. We drank the dew and at the steaks and talked about the fairs of the past and good times we've all had and are going to have. This is Red saying when you go to your county fair don't eat before you ride. Remember to stay safe on in the net, I'll see yall next time.

GATER SURPRISE

Red D here just opened a fresh 2 liter moutain dew so put you feet up and listen to this weeks tale. The other day I was out on the boat with the guys enjoying a fishing day. My friend Greg hooked what we thought was a monster catfish. His line started smoking and the top of his pole was touching the top of the water. We all told him to cut the line before he lost his pole and all. But before we coukd say anything Greg went swimming. That's when we stopped fishing and went after him. Part of it was curiosty and no bites all day. I think it was mostly we just wanted to see what he had on his line. By the time we got to Greg he was sitting on the bank trying to chatch his breath. We asked him where the fish was, he said he didn't want to talk about it. Later that night he told us that it wasn't a fish. He had hooked an alligater that took off after he realized he was hooked. When Greg reeled it in he locked eyes with that gater he let pole and all go. So after he calmed his nerves we gave him a glass of moutain dew and watched some TV. This is Red D saying yall be safe out there and i'll see you out in the net.

NEW REALITY SHOW

Red D here with an idea for a new reality show. With all these shows on TV I figure that one more wouldn't hurt. My show takes place in the country. Now I know what you might be thinking the redneck survivor right. Not at all, my show will put four contestants mudding on fourwheelers, fishing contest. Now the fishing contest will put the four on a fishing show. The winner will be the one who keeps the fish. The winner will win the fish and a brand new fourwheeler, and all the mudd you can make a splash in. Not to mention a built from the ground log cabin. Complete with furnicher, fully stocked fridgerater, walkin freezer, and a fully loaded gameroom. Gameroom includes pool table, flatscreen TV and playstation 3 & 2 and all games for both systems. Check your local listings for air time. This is Red D saying i'll see you out in the web. Stay safe.

MISTAKEN FOR STUPID

Hey y'all Red D here. I Just opened a case of mountain dew, so kick back and listen to the tale I have for you today. My friends aren't the brightest lights in the house. The other day we met at the lake for are bass club meeting for a little fishing and sun backing. When I got there I saw my friend Jake covered with duct tape. I asked what was with Jake. My friend Dokie told me that he was fixing to go para sailing. I asked how he was going to do that with out a sail. That's when he told me that he made his own. I asked how he made it, that's when he told me. He made it out of p.v.c pipe, duct tape and a bed sheet. Then I asked about him being covered in duct tape, and with out missing a beat he said that was his safety harness. I thought to my self that this was one of those situation where you might be mistaken for stupid. So there we were all looking on my friend Johnny was going to man the boat.The plane was simple enough, Johnny would start the boat , then Jake would run down the dock and jump when he reached the end and go sailing through the air. Sounds simple right. The time came,Johnny started the boat. Jake took off running down the dock. Things was going great till he for got to jump at the end of the dock.The motor on Johnny's boat was so loud he could barley hear Jake screaming stop. When he finaly did stop we rushed over to check on our friend. When we saw he was alright we picked him up out of the water and gave a cold mountain dew to drink. That's when we all decided to cast a line and enjoy the rest of the day. This is ol Red saying don't be mistaken for stupid, stay smart and pleas don't try this stuff at home. Yall be good and I'll see you out in the net.